I'm sitting a traditional church service & honestly without the buzz and lights of Southland it's a little hard for me to listen. But! I looked up "freedom" on myBible app & realized something amazing about God's timing.

My whole life I prayed to be freed from fear. I'd memorize verses:

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:4

... and beg God to be free from paralyzingly anxious thoughts and fears. Once I trusted Christ with my whole heart, I was free through my faith, but I didn't feel that way. So, I'd memorize more verses on freedom and beat myself up for being such a weinie.

Last June, I was finally desperate enough to admit my fears to a counselor. I was so tired of beating myself up, hating to travel, try new things, or break my routine in any way that I was ready for help.

Was my faith broken?

No, but my body was. My counselor referred me to a doctor and I was diagnosed with 2 anxiety disorders. Now that I'm on medicine, my seratonin levels are steady and I know:

This is what the Lord says: “At just the right time, I will respond to you..."

Isaiah 49:8a

I'm free. I have been for a long time, but I didn't feel like it when my heart raced and mind flooded with anxious thoughts. I've always been pretty happy--an optimist and an over-achiever, so it took a looonngggg time for me to be desperate enough to get help. But God's timing is perfect.

My ability to remind myself I'm free is so much sharper, and I'm able to try new things, travel, and ENJOY my freedom. Looking back, I'd memorize some awesome verses, but deep down I wanted control more than freedom. I depended on my fears to protect my kids, myself, my circumstances-- but fear and control is no way to live. Now I'm painting, writing, and loving my loved ones in a whole new way:

And I can truly appreciate some of my favorite verses. They have always been true, but the truth is now in my heart as well as my head:

Verses to Possibly Memorize

Psalm 34:4 I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.

Galatians 5:1 So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.

Romans 6:14 Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Question to Consider

What's a verse that took awhile to go from your head (memorized) to your heart (truly believe)?


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